


Our Oyakoro ex-Captain can't be This Cute!

by Of_Lights_and_Shadows



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, Parody, Self-Indulgent, akashi is really protective of his nii-chan, alternate title: the childhood akashi deserves, cute akashi needs to be a thing, i had more fun with it than i should, i just wanted to write akashi being cute it's not a crime right?, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-16 16:58:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4633017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Of_Lights_and_Shadows/pseuds/Of_Lights_and_Shadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This must have been a plot taken out of a cheap light novel. Because there was simply no way Akashi could act like a child... What's more, a really cute child!</p><p> <br/><em>Akashi sits on a chair, smiling, legs swinging back and forth in manner most childish and out of character for Akashi. He offers them a wide, innocent smile and a greeting of "Are you nii-chan's friends?" and it takes a while even for Midorima to conclude that ''nii-chan'' is no other than Kagami Taiga.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Our Oyakoro ex-Captain can't be This Cute!

**Author's Note:**

> Self-indulgent drabble based on a roleplay. It started as an attempt to AkaKaga (we both love rarepairs). It ended up with a pure, brother-like relationship between the two. Which is also fine.  
> This is comepletely crack. You have been warned.  
> Beware of Kuroko's lockpicking skills.  
> I've ripped the title from Oreimo, in case it sounds familiar. (Please hide me from Chihiro if he ever finds out about this.)  
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

It wasn't happening. It was definitely an illusion. It must have been.

The only possible explanation was that he must have eaten food made by no other by the Coach, because there was simple _no_ freaking _way_ that the one and only _Akashi Seijuro_ was standing there, surrounded by an aura of pure _**innocence** , looking at him with bright, scarlet eyes, as though he's the shorter readhead's older brother._

Then again, it could have been Akashi who ate something weird. Didn't that peach-haired girl, who claimed to be Kuroko's _girlfriend_ of all things, cook just as bad as Coach, right?

"Taiga-nii..."

Sigh. Here he goes again.

"Taiga-nii.. There's someone knocking on the door."

"They're here already?"

"Your friends? Can Sei-chan meet them too?" he asks excitedly, practically jumping on the couch.

"Well, it's not that they don't know you..."

"You mean, you've talked to them about me?! Baka nii-chan!"

Silence.

"So? Can I meet them?"

"I don't know..."

"Please, Taiga-nii! I'll be good, I promise."

"Okay, but if anyone asks weird questions, don't reply."

 A tilt of head. "What weird questions? Sei-chan doesn't understand."

"Well, if they ask stuff like why Sei-chan's here, ignore them, okay? They act like idiots from time to time..."

"But if they're mean to onii-chan, I won't allow it!"

Kagami lets out another sigh, ruffles Akashi's hair, and goes to open the door.

 A pair of hands hang around his neck with unbelievable force and a god-forshaken scream fills in his ear.

"Kagami-cchi~"

"Oi, Bakagami, what took you so long to open the door?"

"It's not that you're in time, Ahomine." he replies with a glare.

"Midorima-cchi couldn't go without his lucky item~"

"It's not for me!" he complains. "I brought it for Akashi! He's been having bad luck all week, and Oha Asa ranked Sagittarius last for today!"

"Whatever."

"Ne, Kagachin. Where's Akachin?"

"He's here, right?! I heard his voice in the kitchen!"

"Uh, he's in the kitchen, yeah. Follow me." Kagami closes the door and leads them in the tiny kitchen of his apartment.

"Nii-chan!"

_Akashi sits on a chair, smiling, legs swinging back and forth in manner most childish and out of character for Akashi. He offers them a wide, innocent smile  and a greeting of "Are you nii-chan's friends?" and it takes a while even for Midorima to conclude that ''nii-chan'' is no other than Kagami Taiga._

It only takes a few moments for blood starting dripping on the kitchen floor.

"Taiga-nii, why is blood coming out of their noses?" Akashi asks, as if that's the first time he's seen someone having a nosebleed (it's not, obviously).

Kagami glares at them, and they cover their noses in shame. "All of you, bathroom. Now. You go first, Ahomine." he orders.

"Oi, Bakagami! Don't tell me what to do!" he loudly protests.

"Ahomine-nii, please do as you're told." Akashi mutters, standing just behind Kagami.

 "Don't tell me what to do, Akashi!" he shouts at the younger. "And Bakagami isn't your brother, so you should stop that! It's annoying."

 No one expected Akashi to jump off his chair and charge forward, pushing Aomine on the floor, taking him by surprise, and punching him.

 ''Don't talk about nii-chan like that!'' Akashi says in a childish, crying voice. ''You can insult me all you want but if you're mean to nii-chan, I'll kill you!''

Silence spreads across the apartment. This was Akashi, after all.

 

The front door unlocks.

"Whoa, Tetsu-kun, you actually did it!"

"Please don't doubt my lockpicking skills, Momoi-san."

"Tetsu-kun, I can't hear anything now."

 

Both storm the kitchen door, looking around in confusion.

"You don't want to know what happened here, nanodayo."

"But that's cute, Midorin~"

"Momoi-cchi, Akashi-cchi threatened to kill Aomine-cchi! That's far from cute!"

"What do you mean?" the small redhead asks, titling his head. "I'm _not_ cute?"

Everyone thought the exact same thing.

 

**_Goddammt, that's cute._ **


End file.
